5 Reasons You Aren’t Good Enough and How to Improve
Alek V, M.Psych.
- Most people are lazy and don’t want to do the things necessary for success
- With no goals in your life to excite you, your brain is directionless
- Today’s decisions will plant seeds for your future
- When you have clarity about yourself and your life, you automatically make better decisions.
Why Aren’t I Good Enough?
I always get asked this question by my clients when dealing with self-esteem issues or depression and unhappiness. I’ve even asked it myself a few times. There’s no one answer, and the possible reasons for feeling that way are countless.
You could have heard growing up that you weren’t good enough. Or you may have set yourself unrealistically high goals and then felt terrible about yourself because you feel like a failure that you haven’t achieved them.
But only you have access to your mind. So you’re in the best position to self-analyze, identify your weak points, and fix or remove them, so they no longer bother you. That’s the purpose of this post, to show you how.
“Love who you are, embrace who you are. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, self-esteem, and they naturally gravitate towards you” – Lilly Singh
Why You Aren’t Good Enough and How to Improve
Stop Making Excuses and Start Winning! Learn How HERE
1. You’re Lazy
Many people think that you need to be born with a specific set of qualities or talents to achieve greatness when it comes to success. However, this isn’t the case. Anyone can become successful if they’re willing to work hard and put in the time and effort required.
Unfortunately, many people are lazy and don’t want to do the things necessary for success. As a result, they never achieve anything noteworthy. So, if you feel like you’re not good enough, maybe it’s because you’re lazy. Don’t worry – you’re not alone. But don’t use this as an excuse – start working harder today to feel better about yourself.
So if laziness is the cause, what’s the solution? First, take a look at your lifestyle. What are you doing/not doing/consuming that could be making you feel lazy. You also want to have goals and aims in your life that motivates you to get up and start moving.
They could be anything from the plan to develop a fantastic body to building a business to being the best parent and leader you can be.
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on” – Maxwell Maltz
2. You Procrastinate
Procrastination is the cousin of laziness and the brother of failure. Procrastination is constantly putting off what you know you should be doing because, at that moment, you don’t feel like it.
Think about that for a moment. We know what we should do to progress ourselves in whatever way, yet we still don’t do it. Things like this made me want to pursue a career in psychology.
If you’re a procrastinator, you have a long list of things you haven’t done. Success in any field takes consistency of focus, passion, and execution of your ideas and plans. Notice there’s no room for procrastination or anything that could delay or derail you from your goal.
To procrastinate is to wait and wait, and is a one-way road to failure and regret.
First, find out the cause of your procrastination to apply the most appropriate solution. If you don’t care enough to do it, don’t do it. If it’s not so important that you can procrastinate on it, you should ditch it and go for something more interesting.
The problem could be more ingrained such as a neurological or psychological condition. If it is, start researching possible solutions and taking action to get in touch with the right people who can help you.
But for most people, it’s a simple matter of developing the habit of laziness and a slack mindset over time, in which case you can start turning that around today.
“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment” – Thomas Carlyle
3. You Have No Goals
Having no goals is like going hunting with no weapon, wearing a blindfold, in a barren desert surrounded by nothing. You’re lost, and you’re not going anywhere. Feeling like we aren’t good enough often stems from an absence of purpose in our lives.
With no goals in your life to excite you, your brain is directionless. It needs clear commands to operate at full capacity, and goals work to do just that.
When you want something bad enough to take action, your reticular activating system kicks in. It looks for anything it can find in the surrounding environment that could get you to your goals in the fastest possible way.
So if you don’t have any goals, you might want to get some. How can a person with no purpose or motivation expect to feel good about themselves?
Take some paper and a pen and start writing out what you want and are willing to work for. This isn’t fantasy land, though. Sure think big, think very big. But only write down goals you’re eager to get off your butt to go and make happen.
When you know your goals, you need to decide three things; an idea or plan on how you intend to get there, the resources you’ll need to get you to your goal, and the first thing you’ll take action to get things moving. Don’t wait, do it now and take action!
Stop Making Excuses and Start Winning! Learn How HERE
4. You Misuse Your Time
If you feel like you aren’t good enough or don’t measure up, look at how you spend your time. If you spend every minute endlessly scrolling your social feeds and get nothing done, you should feel like you’re not good enough because you’re slacking off.
Time is the most valuable asset we’ll ever have. So if you have goals and items you want to do in your life, you can’t waste even one hour.
The language we use often reveals how we think about things and see the world and ourselves. What comes to mind when you hear people say, ‘spending my time? Spending. Exchanging one thing (time) for another (short-term gratification) and never getting it back.
Contrast that with ‘investing my time. Like most things in life, the choice is yours.
If misuse of time is the culprit causing you to feel like you’re not good enough, it’s time to make some changes. Identify your most significant time wasters and cut them out of your life. It’s often easier said than done, and I’m not saying it’s always easy.
Still, you have to minimize the time you’re wasting and maximize every hour. How do you expect to achieve anything worthwhile if you can’t do that?
If you haven’t already achieved your goals, there’s something about how you think/act/live your life/see the world that does not coincide with you having your goal. Time is your ally if you respect it and your cruelest enemy if you don’t.
“Adversity, perseverance, and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless” – Scott Hamilton
5. You’ve Made Poor Life Decisions
I once heard Anthony Robbins say that your decisions determine your destiny. No more valid words have been spoken. Today’s decisions will plant seeds for the future that who knows what could come of them.
Likewise, your past decisions have brought you to where you are today, for better or worse.
When we repeatedly make poor decisions that lead to failure, it starts to grate on our sense of self-esteem and competence. We’re more reluctant to take bold action in the future for the fear that we’ll stuff it up once again.
The truth is that most likely, when you made the decisions, you didn’t make it knowing it would lead to failure (I hope you didn’t anyway). It’s easy to look back in hindsight and judge ourselves harshly for our stupid mistakes, but all that does is make you feel like a failure, a loser, and not good enough.
The solution here, obviously, is to start making better decisions. But how do we do that? We’d all make superb decisions and live spectacular lives if it were that easy. But unfortunately, that’s not the reality. We’re humans, and humans stuff up.
The first thing is to learn from your past decisions, the bad and the good. Start getting into the habit of pausing before you make a decision. Is it aligned with who you want to be, what you want to achieve, and what you want your life to be like?
The most influential decision-makers are calm and rational when considering three options and making a final decision. Impulsive decisions might sometimes turn out well, like gambling or a slot machine, but you’re destined to lose more than you win over time.
When you have some clarity about yourself and your life, you automatically make better decisions because you have more to lose if you mess it up.
Final words: By applying the solutions you’ve just read, you can significantly improve your self-perception and how you feel about your life. The key is to turn positive thoughts/habits/actions into daily rituals, so you get them done without even thinking.
“Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily” – Thomas Szasz
Reading this post is just the beginning. Now it’s time to TAKE ACTION! Check out these resources and take your business and life to the next level!
“Massive action is the cure-all”