How to Move on When Love Isn’t Enough

How to Move on When Love Isn’t Enough

Nat Martin, M.Couns.

When Love Isn'T Enough

Key Points

  • People have different definitions of what love means and how it’s shown in a relationship
  • Love manifests itself in a variety of ways
  • Respect is the cornerstone of any harmonious relationship
  • Seek joy and inner happiness and you’ll find genuine love.

Why Love Isn’t Enough

Have you ever known someone in a dysfunctional and toxic relationship that they know isn’t good for them?

But they stay with an incompatible partner because they ‘love them’.

I’ve counseled women who suffer abuse at the hands of their partner, rationalizing the abuse by saying they love their partners, despite the cruel treatment they receive.

I’ve also consulted men whose wives continually cheat and manipulate them but insist on staying because they love them.

Situations like these show that people have different definitions of what love means and how it’s shown in a relationship.

But the truth is that love alone isn’t enough to sustain a happy long-term relationship because there are many other factors at play.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” Seneca

When Love Isn'T Enough

Do You Need More Than Love?

In addition to feelings of love there are factors just as crucial for ongoing happiness and fulfillment in a relationship;

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1. Mutual Respect

Respect is the cornerstone for any harmonious relationship, intimate, professional, or societal. A person shows respect not by their words but by their actions, so if your partner treats you disrespectfully, that’s a red flag.

If they loved you, why would they treat you that way? And why would you want to be with someone who does treat you like that?

2. Joy and Happiness

A relationship without happiness or joy isn’t a relationship; it’s a co-dependency. To say that you love someone, but you rarely share moments of joy or happiness is to mislabel the emotions you feel about them.

Seek joy and inner happiness and you’ll find genuine love.

3. Sexual Connection

Some people see sex as a manifestation of love, while others think the two are mutually exclusive.

How you feel about sex is your own business. Still, you’d be hard-pressed to convince someone you can survive a long-term relationship without the intimacy and pleasure of sex.

“Every day is a new day, and you’ll never be able to find happiness if you don’t move on” Carrie Underwood

Love Isn’t Enough – How to Move on

Love is a beautiful thing. But just because you feel love for someone, it doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. It might be time to expand the criteria you have about who you let into your life and the place they hold in it.

You can’t truly move on without having a few realizations that shift your perspective and emotional associations.

Here are five strategies I’ve seen work well for people in this situation and have even used myself;

1. Understand Why it Didn’t Work

Clarity and understanding of what didn’t work out are powerful ways to move on.

By thinking things through, you learn what went wrong and what needs to happen for things to go right.

You’ll take that knowledge into your future relationships, which will help you avoid a cycle of dysfunctional relationships and experience the genuine love you deserve.

2. Get Clear on What You Want

It’s important to know what you’re looking for. Otherwise, how will you know when you’ve found it?

Try to understand the feelings and emotional states you desire from a relationship.

Also, get clear on what you don’t want, the red flags, and the deal-breakers. They’re just as important because you don’t want to waste your time, and when you see them you can walk away.

3. Never Betray Your Standards

Once you’ve established your new standard for love, you need to stick to it. Sometimes our behavioral patterns get a hold of us, and we keep repeating what we know isn’t in our best interest.

Upholding your standards in all situations keeps you out of trouble and strengthens your confidence and self-esteem.

4. Clarify Your Definition of Love

How do you define love? Everyone has different answers but what matters is what it is for you.

Sometimes people mistake love for something else. They say they stay because they love them, and that might be true.

But it can also be a way to hide their insecurities and fears.

When you can define and seek love in a healthy way that establishes a blueprint for your happiness, you’re in a powerful position to create your own destiny.

5. Work on Self-Love First

Self-love means caring about yourself as much if not more than the people you cherish most.

Some people, including myself, have an inner critic inside their head, chattering away.

It will always be there, but self-love helps soften its voice or turn it into a positive attribute.

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on” Robert Frost

When Love Isn'T Enough

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Your Next Step

​Reading this post is just the beginning. Now it’s time to ​TAKE ACTION! ​Check out these resources and take your business and life to the next level!​​​

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