How to Stay Happy and in Love
Relationships can be highly rewarding and incredibly challenging at the same time.
When your relationships are going well you feel like you're floating on clouds.
If your relationships in turmoil it can mess with your mind and your life.
Many people live their entire lives in dysfunctional relationships.
They know the relationship's dysfunctional but they still stick around.
Success doesn't have to be complicated.
You can take your relationship from good to great by implementing a few simple practices.
A happy committed relationship starts with you.
When you’re at your best you give your best.
When you give your best your partner reciprocates.
The following tips are designed to set a healthy and sustainable framework in your relationship.
8 Tips for a Happy Committed Relationship
1. Know What You Want From Your Partner
What do you want from your relationship?
What do you expect from your partner and what are you willing to contribute?
Establishing standards and guidelines to give your relationship stability and certainty.
You know if those standards are being met your relationship is in good shape.
You also know if they're not being met it's time for reflection.
You can have a conversation with your partner to resolve the misalignment, or make a decision to move on and find someone more suitable.
Time is valuable time and you don't want to waste it.
Having standards and boundaries gives you a clear indication of your relationship health.
Knowing what you want in your partner makes the relationship so much easier.
You must know what you want and what you expect, and not let your your relationships fall below that standard.
Your own personal happiness and well being is paramount.
Being with the wrong person drains you.
Having a committed relationship with the right person can enrich your entire life.
Be clear on what you want from your relationship and don't settle for anything less.
Being clear about what you want is the first step to a happy committed relationship.
You won't get involved with someone who doesn't want the same thing.
When your values and interests overlap you set a healthy foundation for future growth.
2. Give Unconditionally
Love is unconditional.
As soon as conditions come into your relationship it becomes more of a transaction.
Giving unconditionally to each other strengthens the bond you both share and enhances your experience.
Giving unconditionally is a sign of an abundant mindset.
If you're not with someone you naturally want to give to unconditionally, you're with the wrong person.
3. Communicate Clearly and Openly
Communication can make or break your relationship.
Poor communication leads to misunderstandings and conflict.
People differ in how they receive information.
Having an understanding of your partners communication style makes your own life easier.
You can understand what they're trying to say.
Clear and truthful communication is the key to a happy committed relationship.
Conflict and misunderstandings come from poor communication.
Poor communication is the number one reason for failure in relationships.
Don't spend your time arguing and misunderstanding each other.
Spend that time laughing, talking, making love, and having fun.
Make an effort to understand how your partner sees the world and how they communicate.
You don't always have to agree.
For a happy committed relationship, compromise is a neccessity.
Debate and compromise let's people know and understand each other on a deeper level.
Good communication strengthens the connection, deepens the meaning, and increases the satisfaction you feel being together.
4. Understand Each Others Values
Your values are what you consider to be important.
You have values you move towards and values you move away from.
A value you move towards could be productivity. A value you move away from would be laziness.
Your values form a hierarchy from the most valued to the least valued.
This value hierarchy determines your thoughts, decisions and actions.
How you live your life is a reflection of your primary values.
When you and your partners values align you share similar interests and points of view.
A happy committed relationship relies on a difference of personality and perspective.
You don't want to be in a relationship with a clone of yourself.
But when you have similar values and beliefs you create an environment in which your relationship can flourish.
Look for a values match with the people you commit yourself to.
If you value a healthy mind and body but your partner drinks beer and smokes cigarettes, you have a values mismatch.
You both see the world through a completely different paradigm.
Without underlying values compatibility your relationship's will be disconnected at best, and a disasterous at worse.
5. Don't Neglect Intimacy and Sex
What's the difference between a relationship and a friendship?
The answer: Sexual attraction. That's right, sex.
If you're in a committed relationship (which simply means it's exclusive), how's your sex life?
Boring and mundane or passionate and alive?
Does the idea of sex with your partner excite you?
Or do you put it in the same category as grocery shopping or washing your car.
People rank sex on different levels of their values hierarchy.
For some, sex is an act for procreation. For others it's a sport.
Sex and intimacy are primal human needs.
Millions or years of evolutionary biology has hardwired them into our DNA.
People are usually in a better mood when they have regular sex.
Between two consenting adults there's no limit to how creative you can be when it comes to your sex life.
Don’t let your sex life become predictable and boring.
Keep it hot and exciting.
6. Maintain a Solid Friendship
A solid friendship is the underpinning of a happy committed relationship.
If you don't like the person you're with, or you lack connection, you shouldn't be together.
You should be able to laugh together and have a good time.
Having a genuine friendship with the person you call your partner is a beautiful thing.
A bond is forged between you.
Good friends know each other on a deeper level, behind the social masks people wear on the surface.
Think about your own relationship.
Do you share a genuine friendship with the person you're with?
How solid is the friendship between you have with them?
Do you need to strengthen your bond and revitalise the friendship?
All the people I've spoken to who are in a happy relationship have this trait in common.
Their relationship is build on a strong foundation of friendship.
7. Laugh and Play Together
Take a fun approach to your relationship and your life.
You won't live forever. Every moment is sacred and you'll never get it back.
To spend your life in a state other than contentment is to disrespect yourself.
Life isn't a disney movie. Problems and tragedy can appear in the blink of an eye.
You won't feel happy and content every waking moment.
But when you have positive emotional baseline no matter what happens you'll always come back to it.
Set the standard for your relationship to be one of enjoyment and fun.
Smiling and laughing releases pleasure chemicals in your brain.
Those positive chemicals effect you throughout your life in ways you can't imagine.
Being playful and cheerful in your relationship also lets you enjoy yourself more.
Play around and be silly. Make fun of yourself. Laugh about the world.
Those things that usually stress you out? Laugh at the irony.
Have fun and enjoy yourself. Not only will you be happier but so will your partner.
What better ingredient for a happy committed relationship is there than two people who feel good about themselves and their lives?
Think about your own relationship. When was the last time you laughed and acted silly together?
Be more playful in your life and your relationships.
8. Keep the Fire Burning
When relationships lose their electricity they get dull and start to die out.
People get complacent and fall into a mundane, predictable co-existence.
Remember what it was like when you first met?
How did you feel those first few times you were together?
When their name came up on your phone you'd feel excited to see it.
You felt alive and when you were with them all your problems melted away.
Keep the fire burning. Keep your relationship alive.
Avoid complacency and predictability. Keep things fresh and exciting.
If you can do this you'll be sure to maintain a happy committed relationship.
Things to Remember
The purpose of life is be your best self and to live your best life.
It doesn't come automatically. You're not entitled to it, you'll have to work for it.
Your relationship should be a primary source of happiness in your life. If it's not then you shouldn't be there.
Happiness is a state of being.
It's not something that happens to you. Happiness comes from within.
It’s ok to be selfish and focus on your own self-improvement and well-being.
You'll be a better person for it.
You'll also be a better partner. And your own partner will love you for it.
Best Quotes About Happy Relationships
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
"We are most alive when we're in love."
"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry