Relationship Rules - How to Be Happily in Love
By Susan Suarez // Reliable Strategies
How to Be Happily in Love
Why do people say they want a relationship but when they have one they can't sustain it?
Humans crave intimacy and a sense of belonging.
If relationships didn’t exist our species wouldn’t last long.
When you set rules and boundaries for yourself you’ll avoid 90% of relationship problems.
The first and most important thing to know is what type of person you are and what you want.
When you know that you can decide what type of person would be most suitable for you.
You can find the right person to be happy with while avoiding partners who aren't suitable.
Getting clear about who you are and what you want is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Here’s some powerful ground rules for relationships you must know and apply;
First Month Dating Rules
1. Know What You're Looking For
Don’t wait until months into a relationship before you let the other person know what you expect.
Let them know your relationship rules early. That way they can comply or leave.
2. Show Your Real Personality
You can't build a sustainable relationship on false pretences.
Show your true personality from the beginning.
There’s no need to impress anyone, they already like you and you're good enough being yourself.
If they can’t accept the real you they should leave.
3. Keep it Chill
Don’t get too serious in the first few weeks.
Keep the vibe open and relaxed (as it always should be).
I once had a date interrogate me on our first dinner.
What timeframe I would consider marriage? How many children did I want to have?
What would our longer term plans would be? I’d known her for all of 30 minutes.
Coming in too strong too soon is a turn off. Enjoy where you are right now.
At this stage keep it chill.
4. Be Truthful from Day One
Be up front about where you are and what you’re looking for.
Don't give people the wrong impression about where you are and what you want.
Don't disclose your deepest darkest secrets in the first week.
But don’t start your relationship on a foundation of lies or deceit.
If they’re unwilling to accept where you’re at they shouldn’t be with you.
No one likes being played with, and lies will almost always come back to bite you in the butt.
5. Always Live Your Best Life
You’ve met someone new. Great! But you still have your friends, hobbies and goals.
Keep living your life. Keep doing what makes you happy.
Your partner should be an addition to your life's purpose, not the purpose itself.
Relationship Rules to Live By
1. Honesty First
Any relationship, particularly an intimate one, must start with transparency and honesty.
You might feel awkward or uncomfortable being completely honest, but you owe it to yourself and to your partner to be so.
Honesty between people builds trust and respect. Both are building blocks for a healthy long term relationship.
2. Open Communication
If you’re not sure on what your partner wants, don't guess, ask.
If something's on your mind talk about it.
Never withhold what you feel needs to be said.
Avoiding and ignoring important issues only breeds contempt and resentment.
Speak about it and resolve it so you can both move on.
Communicate your true feelings. Most men have difficulty with this.
They don't do it intentionally. It’s evolutionary biology at work.
Tell your partner what you love about them and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
If you can’t communicate that and mean it, it’s time to leave.
3. Be Open to Compromise
You can’t have your way all the time. You also can’t give up your own needs. Both will lead you to loneliness.
If you both have a similar values overlap there shouldn’t be too many major compromises you’ll have to make.
You're both moving in the same direction towards the same things.
But it’s inevitable that at some point you will have to compromise.
Understand your partner's needs and have them understand yours.
Compromise is nothing more than a natural part of the relationship dynamic.
So be willing to compromise.
4. You're Not Their Saviour
You’re not there to save them. They’re not there to save you.
Codependency leads a relationships to ruin.
A healthy relationship is a source of personal power.
A positive and life enhancing experience.
Play the role of a source of inspiration, not the role of a crutch.
If a person has issues to deal with that’s a personal journey for them.
Playing saviour distorts the integrity of the relationship.
You’re in relationship as their partner.
Not their mother.
Not their father.
Not their saviour.
5. Keep the Passion Alive
Sexual energy and attraction is what separates a relationship from a friendship.
When you began your relationship you undoubtedly had a high degree of sexual attraction for each other.
As relationships progress, sexual attraction can diminish.
Make a conscious effort to keep your sex life hot with each other.
Not only does regular sex increase your own well being, it will keep your relationship healthy.
Break-up Rules That Work
1. Break up and Move On
We’ve all seen people who break up and then get back together.
Then they break up again, then before you know it they're back together.
It’s like groundhog day. In the end, the relationships never lasts.
The on again off again cycle is a futile attempt to regain what's already been lost.
Break up and mean it. Move on.
The world is waiting for you.
2. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself
If you’ve been moping around feeling sorry for yourself about your breakup it’s time to quit that.
It’s normal to feel a sense of loss when you lose something.
But now you have a choice.
You let it destroy your self esteem and dignity, or you use the experience as a springboard to a better life.
How you respond to your circumstances reveals your true character.
3. Face Towards the Future
Now is a time to reset yourself. Spend time on personal development.
Develop your self.
Put more energy into hobbies or activities you enjoy.
Learn a new skill. Get in better physical shape. Hang out with your good friends.
Travel. Try new things. Meet new people.
The period after a breakup is your sacred time.
You’re not the person you were when you started your relationship.
Our experiences change who we are. Spend time getting to know yourself again.
4. Spend Some Time Alone Before Dating Again
Breakups leave you feeling vulnerable.
You have an opening in your life you feel like you have to fill..
Don’t fill it by going straight into a relationship with the first person who’ll have you.
People who repeatedly run this pattern in their lives have deeper issues they need to deal with.
After a break up you can feel unsettled as you adjust to your new life situation. This is only temporary.
Focus on yourself and get some stability back in your life.
Let things settle before you do it all again.
5. Keep the Good Memories, Learn From the Bad
You likely have good memories from your relationship. Hold onto them.
Examine negative experiences for any valuable lessons.
Once you have the learnings discard the experience.
6. The World is Yours - Go Get It!
When you find yourself free after a breakup it’s time to celebrate!
What's done is done. You now have time to think about the next stage of your life.
Make the most of it.
Live your best life. No one will do it for you.
Stand up straight and hold your head high.
Forget about your past and face towards your future.
There are thousands of potential partners who would love to meet you and be in a relationship with you.
You don’t need to hurry or worry about anything.
Be your best self and let them come to you.
Lasting happiness comes from within.
Best Relationship Quotes
- "There is not love where there is no will" - Indira Gandhi
- "Women won't let me stay single and I won't let me stay married" - Errol Flynn
- "The loss of young first love is so painful that it borders on the ludicrous" - Maya Angelou
- "Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for" - Bob Marley
- "When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes" - Victor Hugo
- "Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade" - Leo Buscaglia