It's Time to Pick Yourself Up
Everyone's experienced failure and disappointment at some point in their life.
Some peoples problems and challenges permanently defeat them.
Others come out happier and more successful than they were before they had the problem.
What's the deal?
Remember, you're not your failures or your successes.
People who's problems defeat them tend to personalise their failures ie. "I am a failure".
Those that go on to succeed see failure as temporary, and they don't personalise it.
They see it for what it is, a mistake, and learn and try again until they succeed.
If you start a business and the business fails, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
It means your plan was flawed or you didn't execute it properly.
Nothing worthwhile is easy at first.
But with the right mindset and a future vision, you can do a lot better than you have been.
Read on to find out how.
Why Can't I Pick Myself Up?
The reason why you can’t pick yourself up is because you’re stuck in the problem.
You need be solution focused to pick yourself up.
Until you move your focus away from your problem space you’ll stay in a psychological and emotional rut.
How do you transition from problem to solution?
a) Acknowledge and accept the problem/failure/crises
Don’t keep your head in the sand. If you ignore something it won’t go away.
It might hide for a while, but it always comes back to haunt you.
Deal with it now. Acknowledge the failure and accept responsibility for the role you might have played.
b) Look for something positive you can gain from your failure.
c) Decide who you want to be and the type of life you want to live.
d) Put all your resources into fulfilling your vision, to the exclusion of everything else.
This moves your focus from the problem to the solution.
You’re now in a more resourceful state, that you can now leverage to your advantage.
How Do You Mentally Pick Yourself Up?
Everything begins in your mind.
Who you are is a result of how you think.
When your head is not in the right place, nothing else works out.
Everything becomes more difficult and your motivation and drive disappear.
But when your mind is in a good space, optimistic and clear thinking, the world is yours.
You can’t change what’s happened in the past.
But you can choose to change the meaning of what happened.
When you change the meaning, you change the emotional response you have to that experience.
You create your reality with your thoughts, emotions, daily habits, and how you interpret the world around you.
Picking Yourself Up After Failure
1. Assess What Went Wrong
To be able to learn and move on you first need to understand how things turned out the way they did.
That doesn't mean dwelling on the problem.
What you could have done better or differently that that you'll do next time?
Learn from the experience and make the necessary changes so you don’t get caught again.
2. Find a Positive Take Away
There's always the potential for a positive outcome if you look hard enough.
At first, you won’t see anything positive because your mind is trying to deal with what's happened.
But over time as you gain a new perspective, you’ll start to see how some good might come of this.
Good. You’ll know what to do and what not not do next time.
Failed an important exam?
Good, now you know your study plan, and your effort wasn't good enough.
There’s always something to learn from a negative experience.
3. Set New Goals
A life without goals isn’t much of a life.
A goal is something you want in your life, that you’re willing to put in the work, and take responsibility, to make happen.
Goals give your mind a target to aim for and should be a source of positive energy in your life.
They also move your focus from problem to solution.
Picking Yourself Up After a Breakup
1. Accept It’s Over
Acceptance is the first stage of progress. If you’ve broken up and it’s over, move on.
The more you hang on and try to rekindle the past, the harder it will be to pick yourself up and enjoy your life again.
A great skill in a successful life is knowing “When to hold and when to fold”.
It’s a huge world out there full of opportunity, great experiences, and beautiful people.
Don’t live in lack and stay tied to the past.
When you do, the right people will come into your life at the right time.
Accept the break-up and take it as one chapter of your life ending.
Now a new, even better chapter is about to begin.
2. Focus Only on Yourself for 3 Months
Picking yourself up from a breakup doesn’t mean going wild trying to forget about your problems.
Commit for the next three months to invest in yourself, and your own personal growth.
You lose some of your identity in a relationship, now's the time to build a new relationship with yourself.
Get your mind and body in shape.
Read books that change the way you think.
Try new experiences and meet new people.
Start that thing you’ve always wanted to, but never did.
For at least three months be selfish with your time and attention.
3. Write Down Your Ideal Partner
Take a pen and paper and write out your ideal partner.
Include everything you want from physical attributes to personality traits.
Then write everything you don’t want, or won’t accept, from a future partner.
When you have this clarity and you know what you want you won’t waste time with the wrong people.
You’ll be alert to recognize the right type of person when you see them.
4. Don't Be Needy, Just Let It Happen
When it comes to potential partners, don’t be needy or desperate.
It not only turns them off, but it turns the universe off as well.
Maintain your dignity and stick to your purpose at all times.
When you live in alignment the right people will come to you.
Think about it. Who wouldn’t want to be with you when you're living as your best self?
Do your thing and let good things come to you. No need to chase them.
Picking Yourself up From Rock Bottom
1. Spend Time With People You Respect
Spend time with people you respect, sharing ideas, and talking.
They might have answers to your problems you hadn’t considered.
We get fixated on our problems and our self-importance.
We can’t see the answers we’re looking for, even when they’re right in front of our faces.
Being around people with good energy can lift your spirits and improve your state of mind.
When you're in a positive state of mind your problems get smaller, and your personal power grows.
2. Make a List and Take Action
Make a list of everything you want and everything you’ll no longer accept, in your life.
Include in your list everything you want to make happen in the next 1-3 years.
Then make a specific plan about how to get them.
Don’t chase them all at once. Choose one or two and focus on them until you gain traction.
Rate them in order of importance and select two things you want to make happen above all others.
You now have your list of intentions and a plan about how to get them.
Now take action!
3. Be Proud of Yourself
You’ve hit rock bottom and you’re still here.
It might have left you stunned but it didn’t take you out.
You've realized that you need to make some important decisions and changes in your life.
Be proud of how far you’ve come.
Success is falling down 7 times and getting back up 8 times.
Each fall makes you stronger and smarter.
You’ll look back one day and appreciate what life put you through.
Now there’s a strength and wisdom about you that wasn’t there before.
You feel it, the people around you see it, and your life reflects it.
Good things are on their way to you now, and your success is closer than you think.
Quotes About Picking Yourself Up After Failure
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'” -- Mary Anne Radmacher
“Fall seven times and stand up eight” -- Japanese Proverb
“It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer” -- Albert Einstein
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently” -- Henry Ford
“A failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying” -- B.F. Skinner
“Ask yourself this question: 'Will this matter a year from now?' -- Richard Carlson“What if I told you that 10 years from now, your life would be exactly the same? I doubt you'd be happy. So, why are you so afraid of change?” -- Karen Salmansohn