Lost Love - How to Move On
BY CHRIS SAVAGE
What Happens When Love is Lost?
When you met them you could have sworn you’d found “the one”.
Everything they said resonated with you.
The sex was amazing, and you both couldn’t wait for the next opportunity to spend time with each other.
Then they started doing that thing.
That thing annoyed you in the beginning but you brushed it under the carpet because they were so a
Then you had your first disagreement.
The way they acted during the argument made you think they might not be as great as you thought.
Can Someone Leave You if They Love You?
People are primarily motivated by their own self-interest and personal incentives.
You can love someone and at the same time know they’re not the right one for you (or you for them).
If you truly love someone you want the best for them, and for yourself.
Sometimes the ultimate act of love is to let go.
Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they won’t leave you.
And just because they left you it doesn’t mean they never loved you.
5 Signs You're Not Over Your Lost Love
1. You're Still Trying to Contact Them
When your relationship ends the worst thing you can do is to try and contact your lost love.
If you don't cut contact you’ll remain bound to your past, at the expense of your future.
Once the emotional intensity of the loss has died down you can think about it then.
But until that day any attempt to contact works against you.
Your plan should be to forget about them as best you can and move on with your life.
2. You Check Their Social Media
Delete/block your lost love from all of your social media.
Watching what they’re up to only makes it more difficult to move on.
Besides, it's kind of creepy. It’s not going to bring them back, or give you back the love you once shared.
Your focus should be on yourself.
It’s a lot easier to forget something when you don’t have it in your face (or your mind) to remind you all the time.
3. You Still Think They're "The One"
The term “love” means different things to different people.
As much as you adored them, you aren't compatible anymore.
If they were “the one” you'd still be together in a loving, harmonious relationship.
Focusing on “the one lost love” you no longer have is a sign of a lack mentality.
Switch to an abundance mindset.
“Ok that didn’t work out, but I know there’s someone better out there who will arrive at the perfect time.
Until then I’ll focus on being my best self, and living my best life”.
That's the abundance mentality.
4. You Won't Shut up About Them
Do conversations with friends inevitably lead to you talking about your lost love?
Why beat yourself up? If your love has waned, it’s time to move on and stop talking about it.
Not only is it annoying for the people you’re speaking with, it thwarts your emotional recovery and ability to live a happy and productive life.
Decide from today you’re not going to talk about your lost love anymore.
5. You Keep All Their Stuff Around
Get rid of everything you have that reminds you of your lost love.
Gifts, photo’s, the clothing they’ve left at your place, their toothbrush in your bathroom. Everything.
Visual reminders bring back past memories and the emotional states associated with them.
Emotional healing is when you no longer need to have those old memories around you anymore.
You’re happy to dump them, give them all back, or put them in a box. Out of sight, out of mind.
5 Signs You're Over Your Lost Love
1. You're Emotionally Neutral
If you can think about your lost love without feeling a wave of emotions, you’re ready to move on.
Your emotions are like a temperature gauge letting you know where you are in relation to your past.
If you still have painful memories and emotions there are still things about that experience you need to deal with.
When you're emotionally neutral about that same experience, you’ve resolved what you needed to.
You can put that part of your life behind you.
Until you resolve your emotional baggage, it keeps coming back to haunt you.
2. You Don't Care What They Do or Who They're With
This is the opposite of stalking their social media like a deranged creep.
Think about your lost love with complete indifference.
Even better, take the higher ground. Accept what happened and wish them well.
No animosity, no bad vibes. If not for them, do it for yourself.
You can't find closure until you've released the negative emotions associated with the past event.
When love fades away it’s tempting to hold a grudge against your lost love.
But that only brings you down, not them.
Remain indifferent, smile, and send good energy to the world.
Then go about working on your own success.
3. Your Mind's on Your Future, Not Your Past
Goal orientated, abundance-minded people, put their focus on the future, instead of staying tied to the past.
They don't stay in the past living as who they used to be.
They face the future, living as the person they wish to become.
Leave the past where it is. You don't need to carry it with you anymore.
Take the lessons and good memories you have and keep them with you, and discard the rest.
4. You're Out Meeting New People
Meeting new people is a must when you're moving on from lost love.
When you first separate, spend some time alone.
Don't fall into a rebound relationship to distract yourself.
But once you've had that time, get back out there.
It's a big exciting world filled with opportunity, so go and get it!
I have clients who've lost love, and they don't know what to do.
I remind them that soon they’ll look back and be grateful for what happened.
It gave them a new start which led to great things that couldn't have otherwise happened.
Get to know yourself on a deeper level. Identify weak points in your personality, and improve them.
The new people you meet aren't linked to your past in any way.
You can start clean on a blank canvas and make something beautiful together.
5. You View the Loss as an Opportunity
Napoleon Hill wrote “Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or greater benefit”.
Think about that for a moment.
What he's saying is the most painful experiences hold the biggest learnings.
And if we pay attention, the biggest opportunities.
The changes you make because of your pain is how you evolve into a better person.
taking your life to a whole new level.
Great things are coming to you now. Keep your eyes open!
Quotes About Lost Love
“The more one judges, the less one loves” - Honore de Balzac
“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation” - Khalil Gibran
“Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so” - Ray Stannard Baker
“The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost” - Gilbert K. Chesterton“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance” - Oscar Wilde