How to Let Go of Someone You Love
By Susan Suarez
Is It Time to Let Go?
Letting go of someone you love can be a difficult and painful experience.
The only reason you would have to let someone go from your life is that something isn't right, and you have no other choice.
If you’ve come to a point where it might be time to say goodbye, the worst thing you can do is drag out the process unnecessarily.
Time keeps moving and life won’t stop for you.
Whatever you’re going through, try to resolve it and get closure as soon as you can so you can move on and start building a brighter future.
It’s not always going to be easy.
People fear the unknown and choose not to change anything, even though they’re not happy.
They stay where they are instead of taking control of their destiny by making important decisions today that will shape the rest of their lives.
When to Let Go of Someone You Love
Just because you love someone, it doesn’t always mean they’re the right person for you to be with.
There are signs to look out for when it might be time to end your relationship.
It’s always worth trying to resolve any issues and problems you might have.
But if you can’t, then it’s time to ask yourself some questions and make some tough decisions.
Sometimes letting go of someone you love is the result of a one-time event.
An event takes place that causes you to decide once and for all that it’s over and that there’s no going back.
Or it could be the final straw in a string of events that pushed you to a point where you say “that's it, enough is enough”.
Other times it will be a gradual process. Over time you begin to drift apart emotionally and physically.
This is where a lot of people get stuck.
Your inner voice tells you the connection you have now isn’t what it once was. You know it’s time to let go.
Signs That It's Time to Let Go
1. You’re Not as Attracted as You Once Were
When you get together with someone you can’t get enough of them.
Spending time together, speaking on the phone, texting back and forth, you’re all in.
There are certain ‘triggers’ about the other person that set you off.
They can be mental, physical and emotional triggers, causing you to feel positive emotions towards them.
A healthy relationship maintains that connection over time.
You grow and evolve together, and the bond you share grows stronger.
But when you feel your attraction starting to diminish it might be time to ask yourself a few questions.
Are you both heading in the same direction?
Do you still share the same connection you once had?
Are you as happy as you could be?
When you don’t feel attracted to someone, no matter how much you love them you’re not doing either of you any favors by staying where you are.
When you truly love and care about someone, you want the best for them and you’re willing to let them go if they can find happiness somewhere else.
2. You Think About Being With Other People
If your attention is starting to stray from your loved one to other people it might mean that what you have has run its course.
It’s normal to find other people attractive.
But if you find yourself being pulled towards infidelity or promiscuity you need to make a decision.
There’s nothing wrong with being with other people if that's what you want to do.
But there is a problem with lying to your partner about it.
To love someone is to respect them.
When you lie and get discovered (which you will) you destroy the other person and leave a stain on anything special you once had.
If you’re in a situation like this it might be time to let go.
3. You Don’t Talk Much Anymore
Communication is the key ingredient for any relationship to survive. Without it you have nothing.
If you don’t connect, let alone talk anymore then it’s a clear sign you need to think about letting go.
As weird as it sounds, you can love someone and not have much of a connection anymore.
A common disconnection is within your family.
You have family members you love and care about but when you see them you don’t have much in common.
When it’s your family you can deal with it because you don’t have to see them very often.
But if it’s someone you are in an intimate relationship with, poor or no communication is a deal-breaker.
4. The Relationships Become Toxic
If the relationship between the two of you has become one of bickering, resentment and petty arguments you should seriously consider letting go.
Sometimes people grow apart. Their interests change, their attraction triggers change and they become different people.
Toxic relationships destroy you.
They’re all too common and if you find yourself in one get out of it as soon as you can.
It’s often the way in our family circle. Our personalities move in wildly different directions and we disagree over the most basic of things.
You can love someone and not like them.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is create distance between you.
You do your thing, they do theirs. Keep contact to a minimum.
Let them know you love them or you’re thinking about them from time to time and leave it at that.
5. You’re Not Being Respected
If the person you love is disrespecting, abusing, or taking advantage of you it’s time to let them go and remove them out of your life.
Abuse and disrespect is a deal-breaker and should never be tolerated under any circumstance.
You deserve better and if your partner doesn’t appreciate you get out of there and find someone who does.
People who are abused in relationships (physically or emotionally) justify staying with the person by saying “but I love them”.
Staying with someone who disrespects you or abuses you isn’t love, it’s stupidity.
Find your self-esteem and raise the standard for what you will and won’t accept in your life.
Find someone who appreciates you, but more importantly appreciate yourself.
How Do You Let Go of Someone You Love?
1. Cease All Contact
First things first. You need to cut contact with the person, at least for a while.
Your sole focus at this point is to take care of yourself and look towards the future.
You can't do that if reminders from the past are constantly in front of you.
Once you’ve decided to let go you must stick to it. Don’t fall into a merry-go-round cycle of on-off again.
It drains you of your emotional energy and delays any future success you might have.
Once you’ve made a decision be strong and stick to it.
You need some space and some time to reset yourself. So no more contact for a while, if ever.
2. Accept and Let Go
What’s done is done. Nothing can change the past.
But you can change how you respond to the past, and what you'll do differently in the future.
If you’re hanging on emotionally to what they said, what you did, how it happened ect you’re weighing yourself down and keeping yourself from moving forward with your life.
Something miraculous happens when you accept and let go.
You feel lighter, your spirits lift, you feel more optimistic and empowered.
To accept and let go doesn’t mean you have to like it.
You’re not saying what happened is ok, or that you even forgive anyone or anything.
Acceptance is for you. All recovery begins with accepting where you are and letting go of your past.
You then have a blank canvas to design your future life and your future self.
Until you accept and let go you’ll be weighed down by regret, frustration and emotional pain.
3. Focus on You For a While
The source of all your happiness, success and inner peace, is you.
When your mind and body are in good shape everything else tends to flow in your favour.
You still have challenges and problems, they’re a part of life, but you’re better able to resolve them quickly and move on.
Now is the time to focus on yourself.
Take a trip away, pamper yourself, set some new goals and make a plan on how to get them.
Put your energy into taking action and being productive.
It’s all about you right now.
4. Engage With Life
Once you’ve let go of someone you love you might need a few days alone to process what’s happened and to bring yourself back into balance.
Don’t sit around lamenting on what happened.
What’s done is done. Look forward to your future, not back into your past.
The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. Get back into life as soon as you can.
Get in touch with friends, spend some time with your family or go somewhere where people are around and there’s a good vibe in the air.
The gym is a great place to take your mind off things.
Even walking in the park or going to a cafe is a better option than sitting at home and being alone.
Things to Remember About Letting Go
Letting go of someone you love can be a difficult thing to do.
Maybe you have no connection anymore, your attraction levels have fallen or the relationship has become toxic or emotionally volatile.
Whatever the reason, if you listen to your intuition you’ll know when it’s time to let go.
Once you’ve made the decision, don't go back and forth. Stick with it.
You won’t be able to move on with your future until you’ve let go of the past.
It’s a big world out there and your best days are yet to come.
Here’s an idea: Think about ten things in your life you’re grateful for.
Stop right now and think about ten things. Write them down if you can.
Don’t allow any event to consume your whole life and drain you of your positive emotional energy.
Life’s too short for that and besides, you deserve better.
Quotes About Letting Go of Someone You Love
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realising that the only person you have control over is yourself.” – Deborah Reber
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli
“I demolish my bridges behind me…then there is no choice but to move forward.”– Fridtjof Nansen
“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow”.- Albert Einstein
“You can only lose what you cling to”. - Buddha“You can’t move forward if you’re still hanging on” - Sue Fitzmaurice