How to Fall in Love Again
Why Do We Fall Out of Love?
Falling out of love can be difficult to deal with.
People have their own definitions of what love means and how important it is to them.
Some people need to feel "in love". It gives them a sense validation.
Others love themselves first and let what happens happen.
You can love someone even though you know it's not in your long term best interest to be with them.
You can also "love" someone but not be "in love" with them.
The emotion of love is responsible for acts of beauty, and also downright craziness.
When love ends, you can feel devastated for months.
Or you can accept it for what it is, keep the memories, and move on with your lives.
How Do You Fall Out of Love?
From a biological standpoint, the emotion of love is caused by chemicals in your brain.
When the chemicals dissipate, the feelings of love you felt start to dissipate as well.
You can still respect and care for your for the person you loved.
But when you're no longer in love your brain chemicals and your sexual desire start to fade.
"Love" and "being in love" are two different things.
Love is more of a permanent state of being. The love a parent feels for their child. Or the love you feel for your dog.
"Being in love" is more short lived. A spike of dopamine that people call "being in love", but for the most part is infatuation.
So the short answer to this question is yes. You can stop being in love with someone.
Why Do People Fall Out of Love?
Life is in a state of constant flux.
Nothing stays the same for long and everything is always changing.
People are no different. Who you are today is not the person you were five years ago.
The person you'll be in five years will be a different person to who you are today.
The spark of love begins when two people connect on multiple levels.
Sexual attraction, personality and values compatibility. A sense of respect and loyalty.
As people change their preferences change.
If your brain stops firing dopamine for your partner, attempts to fall back in love are for the most part futile.
Is it Worth Trying to Rekindle Your Relationship?
The best course of action is to spend some time apart and detach yourself from the relationship.
You never know how much you loved someone until you have to live without them.
Over time there is a possibility to reunite and develop a deeper bond of love than you had before.
If you've both matured and you agree that life together is better than life apart, you might have a chance.
But if the same issues exist that drove you apart in the first place, you'd both be better off moving on.
Falling back in love requires time, work and emotional energy.
Most of the time you're better off cutting your losses and moving on with your life.
How Long Should You Wait Before Dating Again?
That depends on you.
How do you feel about your relationship ending? How do you feel about dating again?
You also want to ask yourself why you want to start dating again.
If it's to make your ex jealous or as some type of revenge, then it's not a good idea.
But if you have closure, no emotional baggage hanging over you and you feel ready to move on with your life, then go for it.
Recovering from a breakup is a personal experience.
There's no "one size fits all" process to follow.
Factors like self esteem, outlook on life, and your emotional stability all come into play.
Go with your heart and your intuition.
There's no harm in waiting it out for a while if you need to.
9 Ways to Fall in Love Again
1. Love Yourself First
Loving yourself starts with putting yourself first.
No-one can give you self worth, validation, or the permission to feel good about yourself.
You give that to yourself.
Regardless of who you're with, your self respect and dignity come first.
This is not negotiable in any relationship.
Treat yourself as you would treat someone you care about.
Do activities you enjoy, travel, and spend time with good people.
Start a journal and set some goals.
What would give you a sense of pride and self admiration were you to do it?
Forgive yourself for your faults and mistakes, and as Wayne Dyer says "let go of your personal history".
Start fresh today.
Self love comes from having a meaningful purpose in your life and working towards it.
Love yourself and do what you love.
2. Know What You Want in Your Next Relationship
You'll never find what you're looking for if you don't know what it is.
While you don't have to know every detail, it's good to have a clear ideas about what you want.
That way you won't waste your time and emotional energy on dead ends.
Do you want something serious with a long term time horizon?
Or do you only want to dip your toes in at this point, and see where it goes?
Maybe you want a series of one night stands.
There's no right or wrong, just know what it is.
Decide what you want first, and then start thinking about what type of person might be able to give you that.
3. Decide What Type of Person You Want to Be With
If your standards are too rigid no-one will measure up.
It can take time for someone's true personality to come out.
But know what qualities or characteristics are a "go" and which ones are a "no".
4. What Values Do You Want Them To have
Values are the drivers that determine your personality and how you live your life.
Before you can determine your compatibility with anyone else you need to know what your own are.
There needs to be some degree of a values overlap between you.
The key to finding the right person and falling in love again is to filter early on.
Don't wait three months to find out what you could have found out in 30 minutes.
Know what you want in a relationship so you can recognise it when it's there.
5. Should You Search for Love or Let It Find You?
The irony of love is that it comes when you least expect it.
If you have to make it happen it probably won't.
Be open to what happens but not desperate to make it happen.
By knowing what you want, and what type of person could give you that, sooner or later it will come.
Trying impatiently to "find" love won't work. Love has to find you.
And when it does you'll know it.
So what's the answer to the question should you search for love or wait?
The answer is: Both.
Don't make it your life's purpose and something your happiness depends on.
But do keep your eyes open. When and where you least expect it is where it will be.
6. Manage Your Expectations When Dating
They say a determinant of feeling good is how much your results measure up to your expectations.
A good expectation to have when dating is simply to have a good date, and let what happens, happen.
7. Let it Happen Organically
Whatever happens you'll get to meet someone new, have a nice meal or drink and enjoy some conversation.
Whether it continues from there doesn't matter.
If it does, great. If it doesn't, well, you've lived your whole life without this person.
You can live the rest of your life with out them as well.
It might not work out so be open to that. No stress or drama either way.
8. Always Stay True to Yourself
Show the real you. You don't have to pretend, or to please, anyone.
From the first date, try to establish open and honest communication,
If your personalities don't fit, find out early instead of pretending to be someone you're not.
You should be unashamedly yourself in every way. If you want to say something, say it.
That goes for all interactions not only dates.
Any person of value will respect you more for being your true self.
Being yourself shows you have self confidence and esteem and that you're comfortable in your own skin.
9. Embrace Your Single Life
The past is the past. Leave it where it is.
Yes, you want to find love again, and you will.
But until then you're single, so embrace it.
To embrace being single means being comfortable doing things on your own.
Go to the movies, shopping, the gym.
Get out and enjoy life. Keep yourself busy and treat yourself.
Make plans for your future and commit to them regardless of if you're single or not.
A person who can be happy being single makes a better relationship partner than one who can't.
They don't have the neediness and insecurities that come from not knowing how to be independent.
Being in love is great, but it's not everything.
Loving yourself is everything. When you have that your life falls into place.
Think & live well,
Quotes Abut Falling in Love Again
"Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things" - Keanu Reeves
"There's a big difference between falling in love and being in love. There's a big difference between infatuation and falling in love" - Phil McGraw
"Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense" - Helen Rowlan
"Falling in love is terrible. It makes you act foolish, like an idiot" - Lemmy
"I was constantly falling in love, and it never occurred to me that this was wrong or bad" - Grace Kelly
"More than anything, falling in love causes a certain female thing in a man to manifest, oddly enough" - Sam Shepard