How to Be Single and Happy
BY SUSAN SUAREZ
Being Happy and Single
Being single is a lifestyle choice.
It doesn't mean you're lonely or avoiding commitment.
It does mean you'll focus on yourself until you meet someone special.
But until then you're not too bothered about it.
Being single isn’t something to be embarrassed about.
Talk to most people who are married and they’ll say don’t do it.
Take a quick look at the divorce stats to see for yourself.
Relationships can be a beautiful thing.
But you can also lose your sense of identity and independence.
Being single should be celebrated, and something to be proud of.
You have more freedom and you don't have to negotiate your time with anyone.
Appreciate being single and make the most of it while you have it.
6 Benefits of Being Single
1. More Time for Yourself
When you’re single you have way more time to do things you want to do.
Hobbies, interests, career, travel, and general quality of life.
You can invest more time in yourself until you eventually meet someone you want to be with.
But that’s not your sole purpose for living. When it comes it comes.
Until then you’re going to live your life, your way.
2. You're Available
All those beautiful people you see around you, well guess what?
They’re all your potential mates.
No more pretending you don’t see someone attractive because you’re in a relationship.
You can just be yourself.
When you see someone you’re attracted to you can meet them and see where it goes.
You really have no restrictions on who you can and can’t be with.
You can live with a smile on your face knowing the only person you have to answer to is yourself.
3. No More Relationship Headaches
Relationships can be a great life-enhancing experience, but the day to day reality is quite different.
Some people stay in unhappy relationships, knowing full well they're not happy.
As a voluntary single you know you deserve better. You’re not willing to settle for the first person who comes along.
You know who you are and what you want, and you’re willing to wait for the right one.
No more petty squabbling, making compromises and following “relationship rules” (ugh).
4. You Become More Attractive
Being single gives you more time to focus on yourself.
If you’re living your life the right way you’ll be investing in your mind, body, career, side projects, hobbies, family, and friends.
Independence is very attractive.
A person who is free and lives on their own terms, guided by their own compass, has a magnetic quality about them.
Because so many people don’t live that way but wish they did, you stand out like a shining star.
You don’t need anyone to be happy. That’s what makes you attractive.
Neediness is an automatic turn off for both men and women.
But you’re the opposite. You don’t need a partner.
Of course, you're open to meeting someone, but until then you’re content to just do your own thing.
5. You Don't Need Anyone to Validate You
You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel good about yourself.
You derive your motivation and validation internally.
Goals and purpose are your priorities and until you do meet someone special you’re happy to keep living your life, your way.
As long as you’re moving forward in life, as determined by the goals you’ve set out for yourself, you’re all good.
6. You Can Do Anything You Want
You’re free to do what you want when you want to do it.
Sadly not everyone can say that.
They’re locked into a lifestyle they didn’t choose, it just sort of happened.
Being single and being free are one and the same.
Want to do some traveling on short notice? Done. Want to go out for some fun time with friends? Done.
You have no restraints, you don’t need to “talk to your partner about it” or get their approval before you do anything.
7 Ways You Can Be Single and Happy
1. Spend Your Time Doing Something Meaningful
Happiness comes by making progress on a meaningful goal or objective you’ve set for yourself.
When you’re single you have extra time on your hands.
Put that time into building your skills or making progress in an area of your life that’s important to you.
What better way to live than to have freedom of time and to be able to invest that time into something worthwhile, doing what you love?
2. Beware of Negative Self Talk
Your mind plays tricks on you.
It might tell you you’re single because no body wants you or you're not good looking enough
Don’t buy into negative thinking. You might look around you and see couples that on the outside look happy.
The sad reality is that most relationships, over time, become predictable and boring.
People stay in them because they fear the unknown and it’s just “easier to stay together than separate and start over”.
Keep your mindset focused on yourself and your outcomes.
Remember, you’re single because you’re choosing to be single.
If and when you meet someone suitable you’re open to a relationship, whether casual or formal.
A healthy mind leads to a healthy life. Keep your thoughts in check.
3. Pursue Your Goals
If you’re reading this you want to live an above-average life.
You have goals and ambition, and a vision of what you want your life to look like.
The best way anyone can spend their time is to work towards a meaningful goal in the pursuit of making their life better.
Being single is no big deal these days. Actually, it’s a great position to be in.
Worthwhile goals take time, effort, and resources to achieve. You have those now. You’re single and free.
So what are your goals? Where do you want your life to be 3 years from now?If you want some help you setting goals and designing a workable plan check out our free goal setting workshop HERE
4. Don't Wait for Anyone to Be Happy
Thinking that anyone or anything can make you genuinely happy is an illusion.
Don’t hang around waiting for anyone.
Get on with life in the most productive way you can, as your best self, and you'll have suitors lining up around the corner to be with you.
The only person that can make you happy long term is yourself.
Even when you’re with someone and being with them makes you happy, you’re the one creating that feeling via the release of chemicals in your brain.
Don’t wait for anyone. Live boldly in the world.
Chase your goals and dreams and make yourself proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished.
5. Learn From Your Past to Make a Brighter Future
When you look back over your past you likely have some great memories, and also a few you’d rather forget.
Our most challenging times can be our most valuable.
Those are the times when we really get to know ourselves and what we’re made of.
They’re also the times we learn the most about ourselves, our strengths, weaknesses, and what we should or shouldn’t do again.
Use your screw-ups to your advantage.
It doesn’t mean to say they’ll be any less painful but at least you can learn something valuable to make sure you don’t mess up the same way again.
6. Never Put Them on a Pedestal
No one is better than you.
When you meet someone new, especially after being single for a while, it’s tempting to get excited and to feel like “they’re the one”.
They might be great but you’re the prize.
Don’t ever put anyone above you, or think for a moment that you need them more than they need you.
A healthy relationship is a balanced relationship.
To put someone above you erodes your own self-esteem, and makes you less attractive to your partner.
Neediness, in any context, isn’t a good place to be. Don’t go there.
7. It Comes When You Least Expect It
You’re single and you’re getting on with living an amazing life.
Feeling content and enjoying your time doing things you’re interested in and living your way.
You’ll find what you’re looking for when you least expect it, and most likely in the last place, you’d expect to find it.
When you want something too much, and you try to force or make it happen, it eludes you.
Stay focused on being the best you can be in your own unique circumstances and what you want will come to you.
Quotes About Being Happy and Single
“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself.” –Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
“Your single not because you are not good enough for one, it’s that you’re too good for the wrong one.” –Chris Burkmenn
“I’ve been single for a while and I have to say, it’s going very well. Like… it’s working out. I think I’m the one.” –Emily Hunter
“At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.” –Brendan Francis“I’d rather be alone than unhappy.”–Whitney Houston