Are Your Fears Holding You Back?
I help people solve problems.
Life problems, business problems, financial problems, relationships and family problems.
The root of most of these problems is fear.
Your fears are the barrier to your success.
Fears are tricky, they take different forms and affect your life in different ways.
The most common fears are fear of failure, rejection, of not being good enough, and the ultimate fear - the unknown.
Most people prefer to ignore their fears and distract themselves rather than face them head-on and overcome them.
You can let your fears control you or you can look them in the eye and take action despite your fear.
What Makes Someone Bold and Fearless?
1. They're Prepared for the Challenge
Fearless people aren’t blind to risk or the potential of failure.
They know how they want things to turn out, and they take action in that direction.
But they also have a plan of what to do if things go wrong.
Even when you do everything “right”, there’s still a possibility things might turn out horribly.
Fearless people accept that.
Instead of being fearful decide how you’ll react it if things go wrong.
What if your worst-case scenario became real?
How would you choose to deal with that?
Fearless people don’t obsess over possible disasters.
They know what they want and they have a plan of how they intend to get it.
2. They Understand Their Fear
Everyone feels fear. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t.
Fearless people don’t wallow in their fears. They look inside to find out what’s causing it.
Overcoming fears isn’t about “what” you’re scared of, but about finding out “why” that particular thing scares you and dealing with it.
Most people think in a visual modality (mental pictures).
When they think about what they fear, they have a disasterous image on the screen of their mind.
Fearless people, on the other hand, make a mental image of everything working out better than expected.
That positive expectation drives them to assess and accept the risk, and take action despite it.
3. They Examine Where Their Fears Come From
Fear comes from different sources, and it isn’t all bad.
Humans were designed to feel fear as a self-preservation tool.
You're in the savannah hunting for food, you hear a growl behind you and realize there's a tiger twice your size staring at you licking his lips.
You were the hunter now you’re the hunted. You immediately feel intense fear which causes you to either fight, freeze, or run.
In that example, your fear saved your life.
But in the modern-day when immediate threats are minimal, the fear that was designed to help you now holds you back.
3.1 The 3 Sources of Fear
There are 3 main sources of fear:
a) Your biology - As mentioned above, humans have primal fear (threats of death or harm) which resides in the reptilian brain (the oldest part of the human brain).
b) Your life experience - Who you are today is a combination of your genetic makeup and predispositions and your life experience.
If something scared you in the past (say being bullied as a kid), even though you’re now an adult, the fear of ridicule and victimization still haunts you.
c) Your imagination - The mind is a mysterious thing.
You can project a future scenario and scare yourself out of it, and it hasn’t even happened!
Knowing where your fear comes from and why you fear something gives you the power to take control, because your fears aren't so overwhelming anymore.
4. Their Confidence Overrides Their Fears
Success can’t exist without personal confidence.
The antidote for fear is a double shot of self-confidence.
The more confident you are in your ability to handle whatever comes up in front of you, the more fearless you will be.
There is a science to building confidence. What that means is that if you do A, B, C you’ll get D.
Here are a few ways you can start building confidence and moving towards fearlessness today;
a) Gain valuable knowledge - The more you learn about yourself, the people, and the world around you the easier it is to navigate through your own life.
b) Master a skill - Mastering anything requires self-discipline, hunger, desire, and persistence. All these traits build confidence.
You can only improve by challenging yourself and overcoming your difficulty.
c) Real-life experience - Theory has its place, but the only way to build any real confidence is to get out into the world and gain as much experience as you can in your chosen area. It’s the only way.
There are no shortcuts to confidence, fearlessness, and success.
They come from your daily habits, your outlook on life, and your willingness to take action.
5. They Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
When you have confidence in yourself and your ability to overcome, sure you’ll still feel fear, but you’ll do the thing anyway.
Fearless people look at things a bit differently than most.
They view failure as not taking action, not even trying.
One of the most fearless people I know often says “I can handle failure and rejection, but I can't handle regret”.To fearless people, not taking action despite their fear bothers them more than any possible fear their minds come up with.
How You Can Become Bold and Fearless
1. Understand Your Fear
Understanding your fear means acknowledging it, and even befriending it.
Your fear can be your ally.
It helps you identify your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
Allowing fear to be your friend gives you great insights into your personality, your psyche, and your decisions.
Once you understand your fear you can use it as a tool to become a more productive, effective, and successful person.
2. Study People Who Overcame Their Fears
Success leaves clues.
Study people you look up to, people who have lived a fearless life, and learn from them.
Who do you want your future self to be and what type of life do you want to be living?
Find people who already have the result you want.
What fears did they face and how did they overcome them?
Studying fearless people will improve your own ability to handle your fears, and live life by choice, not by fear.
3. Know What You Want and Why You Want It
When you really want something (I mean REALLY want it), you’ll find a way to get it.
If you say you want something, but you’re vague about it and you can’t say why you want it, you probably won’t get it.
Because your brain is an objective accomplishing computer. Like a missile, it needs clear instructions before it can do its job.
When you’re clear and certain that you know what you want and why you want it, your probability of success increases exponentially.
Take a pen and write a list of what you want and why you want it (how will it improve your life?).
4. Develop a Winner's Mindset
Your habitual thoughts determine your destiny.
You are who you are because of how you think.
Fearless people think differently than average people.
They feel pain and disappointment in themselves if they let their fears control them.
They know very well that their only enemy is themselves, and they use their mind in a way that empowers them instead of weakening them.
Your thoughts, values, beliefs, habits, and personal preferences all make up your mindset.
Take a moment to examine your own mindset.
How could you improve your thinking to become more fearless in your life?
5. Embrace Uncertainty
Buddhist philosophy observes that the control we think we have is really an illusion.
At any moment something totally unexpected can change our whole life.
Accept uncertainty, even welcome it.
If you always have to know exactly what’s going to happen before you do anything you’ll never get anywhere.
Decide what you want and how you intend to get it.
Acknowledge and accept there’s always risk and uncertainty, and be confident in your ability to handle it if it comes up.
When you do that consistently you’ll see your life transform, your fears melt away, and your self-confidence soar!
6. Program Your Mind Using Visualization
We spoke earlier about the mind thinking in pictures.
You can use this incredible feature of your brain to your advantage.
Decide what you want and make a glorious image in your mind of what it will look like when you’re there.
Revisit your image regularly adding detail, feelings, and sounds to your image.
Become the type of person who has what you want, who’s worked for it and deserved it.
Keep your image at the forefront of your mind, and take action towards your outcome.
Stay persistent and over time you'll be amazed at where you find yourself.
7. Whats the Worst That Could Happen?
When all's said and done, what’s the worst thing that can happen?
It doesn’t work out? You feel stupid for a while? Well, none of that’s going to kill you.
In fact, it would probably teach you a lot of things you can use to get a better result next time.
Keep things in perspective ok? Don't dramatize or indulge in unnecessary fear-thinking.
Don’t allow your fear to be a barrier to your success.
Quotes About Being Fearless
“It’s not about being fearless, It’s about acting despite fear” – Veronica Roth
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin
“Make your faith larger than your fears and your dreams bigger than your doubts” – Robin Sharma
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears” – Les Brown
“The best way to be successful is to be fearless” – Janelle Osido