How Not to Be a Hopeless Romantic
What Is a Hopeless Romantic?
A hopeless romantic is someone who has delusional ideas about love and relationships.
There’s nothing wrong with romance or being a romantic person.
Romance between two people is a beautiful thing.
It’s the ‘hopeless’ part that can become a bit of a problem.
Is It Good To Be a Hopeless Romantic?
Hopeless romantics are highly susceptible to being taken advantage of by shrewd and selfish lovers.
The problem is they believe all people see life and love the same way.
Love is a quick flush of chemicals in the brain.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for love and relationships.
It's one of the best parts about being alive.
But being naive to the reality of emotional desire can only get you into trouble and often ends in pain.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
When you know the right signs and make a few changes in how you think, you can enjoy life and love more than ever before.
Hopeless Romantics in Relationships
If two people in a relationship are both hopeless romantics, they can probably make it work.
But the fact that their underlying premises of love and relationships are not based in reality eventually comes to the surface.
Hopeless romantics get into relationships with fluffy ideas like “I’ve found my soulmate” after the first date.
In contrast, the other person has an entirely different view of their relationships (sex, fun, no plan at all).
The mismatch inevitably ends the relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic.
Romance is great!
But try to avoid being a hopeless romantic.
You’ll be happier, your relationships will be higher quality, and your choice of partners will be a lot better for you.
Hopelessly Romantic Guys
A hopeless romantic guy thinks that for a woman to like him and want to have sex, he needs to be the stereotypical romantic guy from the movies.
The problem with this approach is that it's not real. It's a fake idea that never works.
You don't have to save the planet or shower your woman in roses and praise in real life.
In fact, the majority of women don't reward hopelessly romantic guys with sex or respect.
They might think he's 'sweet,' but the best he can hope for is to be in her friend zone for a while.
A hopelessly romantic guy tries too hard to be romantic. He hasn't realized that he doesn't need to be Prince Valiant.
He simply needs to be the best version of himself he can be.
Hopelessly Romantic Girls
Most women have a hopeless romantic somewhere deep inside.
They were taught from a young age about princesses and princes through media and Disney movies.
They fantasize about their magical wedding day, where they're the center of attention, and they get to feel special.
Unfortunately, that vision isn't real.
A hopelessly romantic girl leaves herself open to getting taken advantage of by the guys she gets involved with and even by other women.
It's not so much the romantic notions that put her at risk; it's her naivety to people's true intentions.
She often speaks of love as if she's in a movie, and when she does start seeing someone within the first week, they become her soulmate.
8 Signs You're a Hopeless Romantic
1. You're Emotionally Vulnerable
Hopeless romantics are so generous with their hearts they often leave themselves vulnerable to being taken advantage of.
They're so generous with their time, attention, and emotions that people start taking their kindness for granted.
Hopeless romantics are often too quick to commit.
They ignore the person's faults while magnifying their strengths.
They even see qualities in people who aren't really there to stay consistent with their internal narrative about how love works.
2. You Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
Hopeless romantics wear their hearts on their sleeves.
They don't hesitate in sharing their lofty ideals of love with anyone who'll listen.
They're usually friendly, caring people, and when they meet someone new, they give their all.
They honestly believe "this could be the one" and invest themselves fully in the new relationship.
They tell their friends they've found someone and their friends want them to be happy.
But when they see the same old pattern repeated, they're more wary than happy for their friend, the hopeless romantic.
"Don't let yourself get hurt" is a piece of advice hopeless romantics often hear.
Unfortunately, they seldom follow that advice.
3. You Have Unrealistic Expectations
Hopeless romantics have fantastical ideas about love.
They have clear expectations of what should and shouldn't be done between two people who love each other.
If you're dating a hopeless romantic, you'd better be ready to make a big splash on Valentine's day.
And when it comes to your anniversary, start planning the event a few months in advance.
The advantage of being involved with a hopeless romantic is they will give you 100%.
If you're willing to give the same in return, you can have a great relationship.
But you both need to be on the same page, with similar values and objectives, to really make it work.
4. You're In Love With the Idea of Love
Anything in life has a fantasy and a reality.
Marriage, kids, running a business, becoming wealthy.
When you have it, it's always different than you imagined it would be.
Hopeless romantics are in love with the idea of being in love to the point of obsession.
Finding love is their primary focus in life.
Love is beautiful, but when it's forced or manufactured to meet an ideal, it loses its true meaning and effect.
5. You Believe In 'Happily Ever After'
Hopeless romantics have delusional ideas about what love is and how it works.
They've been brainwashed by movies and media that sell fairytales of happily ever after.
Anything is possible, and you should always aim high. But statistically, it only happens about 3% of the time.
While it's great to have lofty ideas, you also need to keep your feet on the ground.
Instead of focusing on happily ever after, make your first priority your own happiness.
6. You're a People Pleaser, at Your Own Expense
Hopeless romantics wear their hearts on the outside, for all to see.
Whether it's their own relationship, friends, or family, they seek to please and serve.
This is a positive characteristic in itself. But not all people share such a rosy view of the world.
As a result, the hopeless romantic often gets used as a tool for somebody else to meet their own selfish objectives.
On the plus side, they also have empathy with other living things. Plants, animals, and complete strangers included.
This is a character strength of the hopeless romantic they should never change.
7. You Show Your Love Life on Social Media
We all know this one.
You’re scrolling through your feed, and you see a cheesy couple's selfie with the words “love you to the moon and back” and “my one and only.”
It’s a quirk of the human psyche.
The more a person feels the need to manufacture and advertise a perfect life, the less perfect their life is in reality.
Hopeless romantics need to take more time before giving their emotions to anyone or telling the world about how in love they are.
8. You Overdramatise Your Breakups
This is the ultimate sign of a hopeless romantic.
When a relationship ends, they break down emotionally as if it’s the end of the world.
Keep things in perspective. Two people are no longer suitable for each other.
There are 7 billion people globally, but they’re so distraught over losing one that they can’t keep themselves together.
People die, and injustice occurs every day.
Yet, they’re emotionally distraught because a person they thought was their true love proved not to be.
Love and romance are beautiful things that everyone deserves to experience in their lives.
But being at the mercy of your emotions, going through life with a delusional idea about love only leads you to heartbreak and pain.
You need to be more thoughtful about it.
Be a romantic.
Be hopeful, but not hopeless.
Best Quotes About Hopeless Romantics
“Don't think. It complicates things. just feel and if it feels like home follow it's path" — R.M Drake
“We’re a masterpiece. And I don’t care what you think right now. We’re going to be together forever and I know that, but you still need to find that out. You know where I’ll be” — Cory Matthews
Just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean I don’t love you" — Blair Waldorf
The truth is, if you love the right way you don't need to say it. There's no grand declaration. Because love isn't three words mumbled as your heart races. Love is actions that come so naturally they can feel it too" — Kirsten Corley