5 Ways How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex
Why Can't You Move on?
You’ve recently broken up but your ex is still on your mind.
When you wake up, while you’re at the gym, when you lay in bed at night, they’re always there.
Even if you were right to break up and you know you’re better off without them, they’re still in your mind and you can’t stop thinking about them.
If you want to live in the present, you need to let go of the past.
That means getting your ex out of your mind.
It’s easy to say “forget about them and move on”, but in reality, it’s not so easy to do.
When you’re emotionally involved with someone forgetting about them is that much harder.
Even if you logically know you’re not compatible, they’re in your heart, and your mind, and you just can’t get them out.
Why Are You Still Thinking About Your Ex?
Most people carry around emotional baggage, emotional issues from the past that have yet to be resolved.
Emotional states of helplessness, regret, and anger keep them tied to the past, restricting their ability to live fully in the present.
Even though your relationship ended years ago, you’re still carrying wounds from the past.
If your partner was the one to terminate the relationship, it can hurt even more.
Your emotional pain can be heavier, and stay with you for longer.
The experience can also contaminate your future relationships because you’re filtering everything through a lens from the past.
If you want to move on with your life you have to cut your emotional ties.
Until you can think about your ex and be emotionally neutral, even glad things turned out the way they did, you’re still carrying stuff with you from your past.
Should You Date New People?
Starting a new and healthy relationship is virtually impossible if your thoughts and feelings are still with your ex.
Aside from complicating your own life, it’s not fair to the new person that they should have to carry your past emotional baggage.
How can you build a strong emotional bond with someone while you still have your ex in your mind?
The worst thing you can do is go into a new relationship, the whole time comparing it to a past relationship.
You need to start on a clean, fresh slate. If you can’t do that, then emotionally, you’re not ready to date.
You need to do more work on yourself and resolve some more of your stuff first.
Don't Keep Going Back
You break up with your ex, then find yourself back in bed with them, clinging to what was.
You end up feeling emptier than before. Accept that it's over, and move on.
What they do or don’t do has no effect on you now.
Avoid being clingy and get on with making your life a masterpiece.
How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex
1. Remember Why They’re Your Ex
They’re your ex for a reason.
People remember the good times, forgetting the bad, which is why you broke up in the first place.
"Fairytale Syndrome” is remembering the past as a fairytale when in reality, it was anything but.
Keep any good memories you had and forget about being with them, getting back with them, or even missing them.
Maintain your self-respect and move on.
Forget the past and look towards the future.
2. Don’t Act on Impulse
In times of weakness or emotional stress it’s easy to make irrational, impulsive decisions you regret later on.
You’ll have moments when you think about, miss, or even start to obsess about, your ex again.
These are the times you need to stand strong and not give in to emotional temptation.
Expect that you’ll have these times and be prepared for them in advance.
When you feel the urge to pick up the phone or to send off a quick “I miss you and I’m thinking about you” message, pause, think, then go and do something else.
3. Time Heals
When you’re going through a breakup and you can’t stop thinking about your ex it can feel like it will never end.
The pain is fresh and you’re hurting.
You don’t want to carry the weight on your shoulders anymore.
Wounds take time to heal. The emotional pain you feel now is no different.
It might not seem like it now, but a time will come in the future when you’re not in pain anymore.
If anything you’ll probably look back and be glad they’re your ex.
You might even think to yourself “what was I even doing with that person?”.
Your life will be so much better and the person you’re with much more suitable.
Instead of thinking about your ex, move your focus to the amazing life you have ahead of you.
4. Focus on the Future, Not the Past
The past has passed, leave it where it is.
Your job right now is to be your best self and live your best life.
You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it.
Everyone makes mistakes, fails, gets rejected, has businesses or relationships that end in catastrophe.
Forget about your ex!
What do you want your life to look like a few years from now?
What goals and desires do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?
How you answer these questions will determine the direction your life takes from here.
At any moment you have a decision to make: do you want to live in the past, or do you want to create an amazing future?
You can't choose both. The choice is yours.
5. Live Your Best Life Now!
If your number one priority is to be your best self, living your best life (and it should be), you won’t get anywhere close if you’re still living in the past.
Longing over an ex-partner is a ridiculous way to spend the limited time you have here on earth.
Sit down with a paper and pen and write out what you want your future to look like.
Go two or three years into the future and ask yourself;
Who do I want to be?
What type of life do I want?
What types of people do I want around me, and what environments do I want to spend my time in?
The purpose is to gain clarity around the direction you want your life to take.
Once you’re clear about it you can start taking steps to make it happen.
Clarity of outcome backed by consistent action towards your objectives is what gives your life meaning, purpose, and accomplishment.
Why You Shouldn’t Get Back With Your Ex
A relationship ending is a great opportunity if you choose to see it that way.
The relationship wasn’t working which is why you broke up.
Now now free to do whatever you like.
Why would you jeopardize a happier future just to get back with a person you’ve already proved you aren’t compatible with.
Avoid emotional stupidity.
It’s most prevalent right after a breakup, when your emotions are all over the place and you’re not thinking straight.
Give yourself some space and time.
Put things into perspective, are they really so amazing that you can’t live without them?
Get your life in order. Keep your self-esteem and dignity and hold your head high.
You got this.
Quotes About Forgetting Your Ex
“He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn’t love me anymore, and it’s not the end of the world.” – Jennifer Weiner
“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” – Nicholas Sparks
“Everyone’s allowed to be in love with the wrong person at some point. In fact, it’s a mistake not to be.” – Harriet Evans
“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” – Mary Pickford“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” – Khalil Gibran